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Whoa, its been awhile.

Posted on 2009.03.24 at 23:55
So apparently I forgot Livejournal even existed, and I guess I'm ok with that, but now when in a couple years when I go back and read my journal to remember shit, I won't remember these past few months :(. Ok well, I'm not going to go into detail, because I'm pretty sure I can remember this shit on my own. ahaha hopefully, well, D and I broke up, Holly and I moved out of that shithole, and I moved in with Chris, Kreg and I started talking and hanging out again whenever I was in Vancouver, OH I BROKE MY WRIST IN THE SUMMER. Had and AMAZING summer, lots of swimming and good times. I got a laptop for xmas, got a new bike, stopped doing drugs completely, got ulcers from too much drinking, ahaha discovered 4chan, I'm moving in with Brenna soon, that's super cool, we're even closer than ever, and that's such a nice feeling. Uhm, I lost the drive to update, bye

its so close.

Posted on 2008.06.28 at 19:45
It's almost time, after 3 years of being away from nanaimo, the time has come, for me to return. Even though I've been in nanaimo more than I've been here, (thank you so much jesse, it's been wonderful) coming back to vancouver seems so wrong, that it drives me bonkers, so I'm moving in with holly, we be sharing a room, so we will be roommates of the literal sense.

My mom got married today. I was just numb the whole day, sitting there, watching a man I loathe, hold my mothers hand as they promised a bunch of things to each other, that I just know will be broken. I'm happy that my mom is happy, but you can tell somethings not there, you can see it in her eyes, and it kills me. Not one person from our side of the family agrees with this wedding, none of us wanted it to happen, but really, how can you tell someone that the person they're promising their life to, is a scoundrel? I saw a few tears envelope, and jaws clench on the faces my family members when the statement, "If anyone here has any objections to this couple getting married, let them speak now or forever hold their peace" was spoken. But, it's her choice, and I'll be there for her, whichever life she chooses. It was a beautiful wedding, only about 30 people, on the beach, it was SUCH a nice day too. Under any other circumstance, if had been anyone else's wedding, it would have been a wonderful day, but instead, the day lingers with a bittersweet flavour, and I'm feeling a bit woozy from all the sun. I think my shoulders are a little burnt, which has got to be karma coming around to kick me in the ass, for recently making note at someones burn, and laughing to myself because I've never gotten a burn in my life! And then boom, tender pink skin on my shoulders.

So I'm a pretty happy lass right now

Posted on 2008.05.30 at 14:57
So house sitting my dads is pretty rad, its probably the nicest place ive ever lived in, so fucking classy.
And what do I do with it? Stick 2 smelly punks from the isle, crack open a beer and light a joint, aaaaah home.

Words cant even explained the joy im feeling right now, I'm so happy to have derek here, jew as well, but you know, kisses are pretty much the greatest thing ever, so hobo wins. Ahahaha...we'd only been apart for 2 days, if that, and it was still ghey. ahaha,. sick.
Isn't the gushy silly mushy stuff supposed to die down? Well, its not, actually, i just keep getting more and more smitten, its awesome.

Sorry I stole your hobo jesse...

Posted on 2008.05.19 at 11:55
So I no longer have the sweetest apartment, its really depressing, corey and i sat around before the moving truck got there, and just cried. it was really sad, neither one of us was ready to leave, we got robbed. robbed of awesome. but whatever, these things happen.

exnay on sunday-ay

Posted on 2008.05.16 at 16:58
So due to technical difficulties, i will not be moving to nanaimo on sunday, I will be storing my stuff on the mainland for the next month, and stay at my dads ballin new apartment whilst he is in cuba for a month, so i get to live, rent free, food paid for, in a dope ass apartment, and wait for my dad to get back, when he will move all my shit to the island. this is soooooo awesome, because i was all panicky and rushed, and moving back on such short notice was probably not such a great idea, this way, by the time he gets back and its time to move, it will be time for me to move in with shelby. ill get a shitty job close to my dads house, so i wont feel bad for ditching it in a month.

not seeing derek will be hard, but like he made clear, we've waited years to see each other, another month wont kill us. plus since my dad will be paying me to stay, ill have money to go to the island for the scavenger hunt. plus im still coming to nanaimo on sunday for the fireworks, and operation make-out has already been clocked, cant back out now.


Posted on 2008.05.15 at 20:09
Ok, so you know how for the past three years, every few months I'd log on, and be like, aw, i miss nanaimo, imma move back...and then never would? well fuckin guess what nanaimo, I'm coming back, and this time, its going to be different, you will not own me, you will not have this death grip over me and my friends. We're different now, we've changed and you haven't. You'll always be the same port town of dark energy and sorrow. But us, we're taller than you could've ever imagined, stronger as we go on.

Sunday is the day I return, and theres fireworks that night! it'll be magical!

So I'm dating the pirate hobo, thats pretty sweet. Actually, its more than pretty sweet, i just don't want to start being all cutesy and rambly again, because trust me, I can go on for quite sometime. I felt kinda weird for getting into another relationship so fast, seeing as how Im not sure I'm over kreg, but I realized, every hard breakup takes a toll, and I'd be a retard to choose sitting around being bunk and crying all the time, over someone that I don't want to be with, when I could be all giddy and retardedly happy like i am right now, with someone I do want to be with.

Im coming home.

Posted on 2008.04.01 at 04:41
So I don't have to move. Such a relief. The other day, Andrew, Mason and I went to ihop, because i've been craving waffles, for so fucking long. We sit down, and i feel something underneath my foot. I look down and see this rad phone, i pick it up, its a sony ericsson w8501, the slide phone, and i already had a sony, so i just slid my chip in, snapped the original chip, and boom, i just acquired a 350 dollar phone. How pimped is that? Pretty dang snappy if you ask me.

I'm doing really well with this breakup. Which surprises me, because usually breakups just destroy me. I thought breaking up with kreg would debilitate me, he was my everything for so long, he was by far the best boy I have ever met. But he changed, and yes, I did introduce drugs to him, but he blames his addictions, his downfalls and lethargy on me, which isn't cool. at all. This breakup is good for the both of us, we both just got too comfortable, let priorities slide down the ladder of importance, focused on either drugs, or fighting. And I admit, my drug use is a bit absurd, and i am very reckless in my ways, I'm not very focused on the future, and not a very legit minded person, and I don't have a problem with that.....I'm still really young, this is my time to fuck around, i know i can always turn my ways around, when the time is right. And that clashes BIGGIE with every aspect of kregs life. He's alot older than i, and thats a big factor in our differences I'm sure, hes in full on school mode, and apparently i am too distracting. if we were getting along great, he was too distracted, if we were fighting, he was too distracted...bah, i hope this split gives him the drive to finish school...

So, recently, I've been having island times, but in vancouver, which is such a nice feeling. dubya,mason, and andrew all live over here now, and i can already feel my life improving. Not that I'm relying on people to make my life better, but islanders just do it for me. they way the talk, they way they smell, the way they interact with people, just makes me feel whole.

dubya is moving into the apartment with me when kreg leaves at the end of this month, I'm really excited, hes just so awesome to have around, so charismatic, genuinely funny, has answers to most of my questions, and he fixed my darth vader belt buckle, so, that right there, makes him king. we're gonna build a divider in the living room, so we don't have to share a room, and he doesn't have to sleep on the futon.

I got 1400 bux on my tax return....never in a million years thought i would get that much back. Imma get my seahorse tattoo finally...on my right forearm/ wrist, with the tail curling around my wrist, onto the base of my palm. GET NEW SPECTACLES.imma pay my phone bill, get my shambhala ticket, buy the pc off kreg..and maybe get some new digs.

Posted on 2008.03.26 at 23:08
So Kreg and I broke up. Nearly 3 years.

I have yet to leave the apartment, it's going to be hella sad when I do.

I'm working my way up to leaving, its hard, i dont know how im going to do it.

Just seeing him in little spurts is too much.

Just being around him, knowing i cant fix things, kills me.

bah,

Posted on 2008.02.10 at 13:21
Well, it would've been, could've been worse than you would ever know.
Oh, the dashboard melted, but we still have the radio.

Oh, it should've been, could've been worse than you would ever know.
Well, you told me about nowhere well it sounds like someplace I'd like to go.

Oh, it could've been, should've been worse than you would ever know.
Well, the windshield was broken but I love the fresh air you know.
(The dashboard melted but we still have the radio)

Oh, it would've been, could've been worse than you would ever know, oh!
(The dashboard melted but we still have the radio)
Oh, we talked about nothing which was more than I wanted you to know-oh-oh-oh-oh.
Now here we go!

Oh! It would've been, could've been worse than it had even gone
Well, the car was on blocks, but I was already where I want.
(It was impossible, we ran it good, we ran it good)

Why should we ever even ever really even get to know?
(It was impossible, we ran it good, we ran it good)
Oh if the world don't like us it'll shake us just like we were a co-oh-oh-oh-old.
Now here we go!

Well we scheme and we scheme but we always blow it
We've yet to crash, but we still might as well tow it
Standing at a light switch to each east and west horizon,
Every dawn you're surprising,
and in the evening one's consoling
Saying "See it wasn't quite as bad as"
Well, it would've been, could've been worse than you would ever know.

I was patiently erasing and recording the wrong episodes
After you had proved my point wrong,
It wasn't like I'd let it go, oh-oh-oh. Oh-oh-oh.
I just wanted to catch the last laugh of this show.

Yeah, it would've been, could've been worse than you would ever know.
Oh, the dashboard melted, but we still have the radio.
(The dashboard melted, but we ran it good, we ran it good)

Hard-wired to conceive, so much we'd have to stow it
Even needs have needs, tiny giants made of tinier giants.
Don't wear eyelids so I don't miss the last laugh of this show.
(The dashboard melted but we still have the radio)

Oh, we could've been, should've been worse than you would ever know.
(The dashboard melted but we still have the radio)
Well, you told me about nowhere well it sounds like someplace I'd like to go-oh-oh-oh-oh.
Now here we go!

Well we scheme and we scheme but we always blow it
We've yet to crash, but we still might as well tow it
Standing at a light switch to each east and west horizon,
Every dawn you're surprising,
and in the evening one's consoling
Saying "See it wasn't quite as bad as"

Oh it would've been, could've been worse than you would ever know.

Posted on 2007.08.30 at 21:51
Whoa, this past week went by like nothing....

So summers gone, kinda, its still kinda kickin it, but i just havent really enjoyed summer to its fullest., and i know i still have a chance, i just dont know if im going to go do anything, which is kinda bunk, but, whatever,

my island trip i guess was my little summer, and was alright, so i do have that to remember this summer,nothing spectacular, bah, maybe im just in a bunk mood now, but i feel robbed of summer...

whatever..

life goes on and im sure there will be other summers.


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